Trust

Just when I thought I was so sick and worse off than most people, I searched lyme disease on tumblr.  I was brought back to reality when I read so many different stories with so many different struggles. I’m so grateful that I’m not as bad as these people.

Yes, I can’t remember anything I study (I need to keep a 3.5 gpa in order to maintain my scholarship).  

Yes, I can’t dance anymore- or do many things I love.

Yes, because of my current treatment (picc line and antibiotics) I can’t go in the ocean or have much of a social life.

Yes, I’ve been on different antibiotics for almost 3 years (sick for about 7 years) and nothing has worked yet.

Yes, I’m always in pain and struggle with many symptoms- depression, fatigue, memory and joint pain- are a few.

-BUT-

I must remember that God has a plan for me and that it is a good plan.  I must remember that even if I don’t get better, it is for a reason.  He is sovereign, and FOR A LITTLE WHILE will I struggle.  If I am not healed here, I will be healed in heaven.  Even if I’ve been put in the position of a helpless person so often, HE IS MY HELP. He is in control, He knows the steps I take.  What a comfort.

During this trial, I’ve learned so much.  I’ve gained a bigger heart for others going through trials.  I’ve learned so much from God’s Word and have strengthened my faith.  I’ve been able to be an example to so many others.  I only pray that I would continue to do God’s will- even if it means not being healed right away and losing my scholarship. He is good.